Biography:

Meet Chris! Chris has all the features of a person. Chris has a face. Chris has arms. Chris even comes with a shiny pair of toes! When Chris is not acknowledging the fact that he has the features of a regular person, he enjoys playing the violin, piano, and mandolin, and can often be found off in a corner somewhere, crying while listening to the entire Chorus Line soundtrack on repeat.

Chris also specializes in rants that span from Lana del Rey to West Virginia that he is happy to pull out at any given time. Ask him why the formation of genres has only hurt the music industry and why the best form of milk is objectively strawberry.